Monday, March 19, 2012


Today I needed some reassurance on leadership. In reading, I gathered that every leader should be under girded by a personal advisory team that will provide:

Godly wisdom






The reading had an exercise. The exercise required me to select the five top individuals I seek advice from and determine what role they play in my GROUP. Although I always do it, I always feel it is a gift and a curse to seek advice from others. Number one, people will know your personal business and number two, some people make comments that can sometimes have a less- than- your- best- interest- agenda or can be outright offensive. I do it still because the bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of wise council, and I never want to be the foolish girl we have all met; thinking she knows everything about everything and is a brick when it comes to hearing wisdom that will keep her from ruining her life.

So, let’s see my GROUP. I have the sassy bus driver who never gives an actually opinion, but always has the applicable scripture, with or without request, no matter how late at night or early in the morning I call. The lady cop who has seen so much ugly in the world she knows her stuff and can keep it real about the situation and provide real solutions to the problems. I have my bff and f and even when we don't speak, who always understands me, even my most selfish emotions, and through that understanding gives me permission to be me for just enough time to get over myself. I have my personal cheerleader who is always optimistic, so proud of me, always encouraging me and forcing me to see myself as an amazing, smart, beautiful woman and mother. And last, to keep me going, I have my ride or die chick, who, believes that “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong” yet in spite of everything that does goes wrong in her life or mine, has been a living example of perseverance through the odds, always giving me a right to never mind the opposition and keep going strong.
So what now? Now is that awkward moment when I realized, my definition of multitude could use some narrowing down. My GROUP gives me five beautiful women, ranging in lifestyles and ages that provide everything I need. I can release myself from the impulse to seek or satisfy the opinions and haunting suggestions of others. And even within my GROUP, each has their own purpose and anything offered outside of that is a weight I do not have to bear.
The moral of this story is this; a true leader is a leader in her own life, wise enough to listen and strong enough to choose.

Today ladies, when your listening to or reading through someone’s thoughts, suggestions or opinions, it’s ok to take it and it’s ok to leave it.

Be beauty of ashes.


  1. Very nicely written. I love that perspective....An advisory team.

    My personal thoughts on the subject:

    I don't really allow myself to have that though. I don't avoid it because I think I don't need it or because I think I know everything, that's not it at all. I just have experienced people giving me some horrible advice in my younger years when I didn't know any better. I had always prided myself on learning from the life experiences of others, but one day I decided that I needed to live life for myself based on my own beliefs. That way I would have no one else to blame for my decisions. In my early 20s I didn't really know how to make decisions...I depended on the experiences of loved ones to get me through those times. That was the right thing to do I thought....That was responsible I thought, but then I grew up and realized ok, maybe not. Plus on top of that I have been hurt to the point where it's really hard for me to trust people with my business and intimate feelings. When you trust someone for real and they hurt you and talk about you so bad it's hard to trust people with your business. Well at least it is for me as much as I would want's hard...A GROUP to support you sounds like a wonderful thing....sometimes I wish I had it, but I just don't open up enough anymore. It's good that you have found a supportive group of people that can lend a listening ear and are willing to provide advice that you respect. You are truly blessed.

  2. "A child that has been burned has a fear of fire" I share that sentiment. I really believe that I have a calling on my life to encourage people and myself to turn every pain into power. When I learn how to turn those ashes into beauty, I will be excited to write about that.