Monday, August 24, 2009


Have you ever had a really funny friend or a favorite comedian? Someone with the ability to capture the imaginations of everyone in their audience and turn an awful moment we can all relate to into something humorous. Interestingly, the jokes we laugh at the hardest are the ones we can relate to the most. Five people can experience the same terrible event and walk away with a different story to tell. Many of the facts may be consistent; some of the details being debatable, but usually the group can feed off the negativity as if this ritual was somehow rehearsed. Why is that typically the go-to moment? How to do we inevitably come to the moment that we can agree on how angry and offended we are or at least should be? Hate is definitely a learned behavior and as women we spend a lot of times bashing our men and bashing each other in the perfect harmony. How come we don’t take the perspective of the comedian? Do we really need a complete stranger to listen to or tell us our story in order for us to take the perspective of humor? Repeating our own experience to show us how to laugh at the characters in our lives or the idiosyncrasies in ourselves? We can synchronize hate so easily because it feeds the pain inside of us all. If we never stop feeding this insatiable part of our personalities, filled with insecurity, disappointment, suspicion, self-doubt and broken heartedness, we will eventual devour our relationships with hardness, distrust, and bitterness.

Today ladies, we look up and not down; in instead of out and find the funny.

Be beauty for ashes


  1. Girl, this is such a touch-home topic! Why is it that we, as women,
    can't seem to give each other the hallelujah - you go girl - atta girl -
    or whatever! Instead, sometimes, we scowl when really - if we like it,
    not covetously, but admiringly, should say "Girl I like that and maybe
    I'll get one to wear when I'm out of town; so, we won't see ourselves
    coming and going". Sidebar/tangent - We do understand it is nothing more
    embarrassing than seeing your outfit on someone else especially at the
    same time! "Smile and say darling - what good taste we have, huh?!" Then
    let it go! That happened to me at a family reunion when I had gone to
    get the outfit right before going and it was a cheapie/steal or so I
    thought. I had decided to wear it the next day; so, I didn't actually
    have it on at the same time! Thank God! Needless to say, I wore another
    outfit (old one) for the next day's events.

    I got tied up yesterday after I had typed this and it went to drafts;
    so, I decided to send it today.

    Toodles - Smooches - Do have a blessed day today and Always ladies! I
    look forward to chatting with you and meeting you one of these days!

  2. It almost feels like sometimes we may think we are loosing something by giving it up to someone else...

    What makes us believe we are supposed to compete?

  3. Losing something by giving it up to someone else... Well what about God
    losing his son Jesus, if only for a minute, giving himself for someone
    else - that was us! How could we possibly think or even relate to loss?!

    What makes us believe we are supposed to compete? Simply because we
    don't realize that it's not ours to begin with, it ALL is simply on loan
    to us. Remember, we are just passing through; so, we don't really need
    permanent things, that's why it's on "LOAN" to us!

    We also can be such selfish creatures - we want what we want AND we want
    it yesterday especially if "The Jones" have it. If they can have it,
    I've worked all my life and tried to do the right things; so, why can't
    I prosper???!!! Cause I can't handle it, that's why!!!!!!!!!!! Plain and
    simple cuz I'd wreck myself! I am in the place where God would have me
    to be; so, I shouldn't try to plan my own way out cuz it ain't my plan
    to begin with but I only think it is!

  4. OHHHHH! Don't hurt anyone with that! That was the hot, twistin-up-your-nose truth right there! LOL. You stepped all over my toes with that one because I JUST learned that lesson myself. That all my hard work and all my stuff and all of what I think I deserve out of life. I was sick and miserable thinking about all that I think I deserve and had to give up. Mad as hell that I could have what I wanted when I wanted just because I wanted it. Not needed, wanted it when IT ain't even mine! It's HIS. All my time, my mind, my body, my career, my money, my man, my house, it's not about me. Who told us it was about us? When did we take that and start building on that? Let's not even start with the fact that no matter how far we raise the bar and "compete" with our "personal best", you know, since we are all too fly to let on that we compete with each other, it still isn't good enough. If I could do one think as a mother it would be to teach my children that their lives are not their own. If I could do that, I feel that I could spare my children so much pain, dissapointment and confusion.

  5. TOO TRUE for me once upon a time, too! If we all are honest with
    ourselves, we all were or are going through similar experiences, huh?!